A little bit of a rant

So, I’m on spring break right now, and my ex-boyfriend (who I’m still good friends with) went to the beach with a couple of his friends. Today, he called me, and we were talking about his trip, and he tells me about one of the girls that was there.

“Robin, you won’t believe what she thought her bra size was… She was wearing a 36DD”

“What?! Well did you tell her?!”

And he had! He had told her that her bra size was almost definitely 100% wrong. I was so proud of him! Unfortunately, she didn’t believe him. He even told her about my bra journey, but it was apparently met with cries of, “I’m not thin enough to be in a smaller band…”, “I don’t think I could fit in anything bigger than a DD…”, “I don’t WANT to be more than a DD”, and the one that really really REALLY bothered me… “Boys like the too-small look.” 

ಠ_ಠ

Seriously.

I have gotten a lot of excuses for why girls aren’t wearing a bra that fits, but this “guys-like-it-better” is the worst. Mostly because guys don’t even know better! They don’t necessarily like the too-small look. They like cleavage! And if anything, you’re going to get better cleavage in a well fitted plunge bra than in a poorly fitted bra because the band will actually be there to support your boobs and squeeze them in!

And even then, “Guys like the too-small look” is not a reason to wear a too small bra EVERY DAY. I would be totally lying if I said I didn’t still have a 34DD Victoria’s Secret padded bra lying around that I would occasionally wear for a few minutes as lingerie (or under a second bra, for the “insane porn star boobs” look that I discuss in my post Cleavage Concerns) but I would never wear that thing every day! It’s so uncomfortable and unsupportive!

The other thing about this, is the “I can’t fit into a smaller band”. This is a bra fitting issue on par with the DDs-are-huge myth, if you ask me. Because 32 is the smallest sold in stores, people think 32 = very thin, 34 = thin/average, 36 = larger side of average, 38 = overweight… And this just isn’t true!

I haven’t met the girl this post is based on, but after the conversation with the ex, I did facebook stalk her. And though she appears slightly overweight in her photos, she is definitely NOT larger than a 32 band (unless she has a flared ribcage, which does sometimes happen). Looking at this girl, I would guess 32FF. But because of the limited availability of sizes in the US, she can’t imagine that size even existing 😦

I know you can’t save all the boobies in the world… but meeting skeptical women makes me so sad. And I am so tempted to facebook message her myself to push the issue, but I know that would just be obnoxious. Perhaps she didn’t believe that her bra size was wrong because it was a man who said it? Who knows. But I’m going to end this rant now, because I doubt y’all really care. I just was very annoyed and needed to type my feelings out!

Thanks for reading my rant guys! Have any fellow bravangelizers out there had to deal with skeptics? What do you say to convince women that maybe it is worth it to double check their bra size?

14 thoughts on “A little bit of a rant

  1. I recently got into an online tiff with a woman that was complaining finding bikinis that gave support. She didn’t believe me when I said I don’t think that your a 34C. Ultamatily I think she just wanted to complain but not do anything about it.

    • That’s the worst… I tend not to say anything to a woman until she complains to me about her bra. Then I swoop in for the kill!! Because I can fix it! And I’d say 99% of the time they are receptive, because they are hopeful for a fix!

  2. It’s hard when most girls only see the large lingerie stores on a day-to-day basis and probably know nothing about the specialty stores, so they become convinced that a DD is the largest size and have weird notions about fit (Case in point: I’m still working on my sister who’s wearing 34C’s and is probably more like a 32DD… she said her bra was causing spillage so she was thinking about going up to a 36C- what??) This might sound crazy, but if you’re dealing with one of those “guys like it better” excuses, it might be worth easing someone into the world of better fit by recommending a Deco or a Curvy Kate showgirl bra or something with more “punch.” That’s actually how I started wearing the right size. I didn’t want to “lose the cleavage” (oh how naive I was!) from my ill-fitting 34DDs, I tried on a 30G Deco on a recommendation from a friend (who when I told her I wore a 34 said I didn’t even look like a 32) and thought holy carp this looks good AND doesn’t have spillage! And once I got used to how a better fitting bra felt in general, I couldn’t go back to the 34+ bands because they just weren’t as supportive or comfortable. Now I’m happily in my correct size (28H-ish).

    • I do try to start off girls in the Deco actually… I know it’s not best for fitting purposes, but it’s also pretty much the closest thing you can get to a Victoria’s Secret type bra but in a decent size range.

      Also I’ve been wearing correctly sized bras for like 3 or 4 years now I guess but I STILL cannot deal with the no cleavage thing… It wasn’t an issue when I was a 30FF because things like the Deco were still in my size range, but nowadays at a 28J (JJ? Honestly my only super well fitted bra is a 28K PL from Ewa Michalak so who even knows what size I should say I am) cleavagey bras are so hard to find! Which is why I’m sort of resigned to my PLs. I’m kind of known amongst my friends for my boobs… it feels weird to not have ANY cleavage haha.

  3. I’d be a bit creeped out if a guy friend told me that my bra size was wrong. That being said, I find the “but boys like the too small look” excuse to be the saddest. I can understand cramming yourself in the wrong size because you don’t know you have other options or beause you don’t know how bra works, but being uncomfortable day after day, just because “boys like it”… this is just sad. Also flared ribcages are not stranger than straight ones, just a different shape.

    • Yeah my use of the word “strange” there is definitely a little off and not really what I meant – I meant uncommon. I’ll edit and fix it. I just typed this up in a huff and didn’t look back to even edit haha.

    • Oh and when I looked back and read it in context I realized that actually I meant that it would be strange for her ribcage specifically to be flared (because it doesn’t seem to be, based on the pictures). I still changed it obviously because I can definitely see how it comes off the wrong way!

  4. Many times it’s girls who like the “too small look”. They love to show their cleavage and feel like a good fitting bra covers too much.
    People is used to that look on Tv and magazines. They’re also used to hear that a 32 is the smallest band and a DD the biggest (and huge) cup. It’s exactly the same in my country (Spain), here it is almost impossible to find a bra that is not in the 32-38 B-D cup.

    • I won’t lie, I definitely like a lot of cleavage (why I wrote a whole post on how to get cleavage even in a well fitted bra!) but even when I’m wearing a bra with a too small cup for the aesthetic (which I definitely do sometimes… guilty as charged) I try to have the band correct because otherwise it just kills my shoulders! That kind of brings up another thought- is it more important to have well fitted cups or a well fitted band? For women who like a cleavagier look, is it detrimental to have a bra or 2 that are a cup size small to wear as “push up” bras? Hmm…

      • Smaller cups don’t help me with cleavage, they just give a quadboob 😦 I also like cleavage, don’t feel guilty, but after years wearing ill fitted bras I feel happy enough with my boobies up and not down the belly bottomas they used to! LOL

  5. I think it’s always going to be an awkward one. When we know how to properly wear a bra these days it’s easy to be exacerbated by how people get it wrong, but when in our minds we’re simply helping other women it can be taken the wrong way, leaving people feeling offended, embarrassed and attacked. I see people wearing the wrong size too but I don’t feel it’s my position to say anything directly to them. I find it difficult enough trying to get my Mum to understand how bras should fit these days! I guess all we can really do is keep blogging about our experiences and sharing our stories where we can, in public domains where people can look and educate themselves if they want to hear it. It would also help if more stores realised the need for smaller back sizes and larger cups and spread the word too, in the hope that one day we won’t need to jump on bra offenders which we are so often tempted to do!

    🙂

    Becky x

  6. For years I have been a 32 AA suddenly at 32 I grew boobs they were so much bigger than I’d ever had. I went to a well know underwear shop in the UK to get measured so chuffed I finally had breasts. The woman measured me and said your a 32 A no way I thought but went with it desperetly disappointed I left just buying some tights as the prices were insane and went two doors down to another cheaper underware store well known but no measuring service. I brought a bra band bigger for comfort as I have scoliosis and the twist in my spine is right where the bra band sits so causes me pain. My breasts bulged over the top being naive never having breasts thought it was how it supposed to be.
    My breasts grew again slightly so I got a 34B still they bulged over the top but still though things were how they should be. During this time I could only bare wearing a bra if going out the pain it caused me just putting it down to my spinal condition getting worse as I’d been told It would.
    At 35 read an article on line that most women were wearing the wrong sized Bra so I decided to get measured again returning to the place I got measured at before. The assistant took her time helped me in and out of the bras as I’m a wheelchair user she was lovely. I was measured at a 34 EE I couldn’t understand it as I was not that much bigger than the first time I was measured at a 32 A. I bought 2 bras in the shop feeling obliged this time with the effort the assisstant had spent with me.
    Another customer and I started chatting I said I couldn’t believe I was wearing the wrong sized bra for 3 years and I’d been measured here. She chatted with me till outside the shop then told me. That they had been mis measuring women until the cheaper shop closed. They judged you on your appearance when you entered the shop if they thought you couldn’t really afford much knowing shop 2 doors down was cheaper without measuring they assumed you would leave and go to the other shop. After been measured which I did. She told me they would laugh after you left reveling in the fact that you would be buying an uncomfortable bra that was way too small. They were judging people by the way they looked and as a result they were mis measuring customers who were spending a fortune on mis fitting bras complaints to head office were numerous. Two assistants were sacked a year ago. Just after cheaper store closed turned out the lovely lady who served me this time was her sister who had replaced on of the sacked women. The sickening fact was that the deliberate mismeasuring caused me sever pain it wasn’t my spinal condition getting worse it was squeezing myself into a Bra way too small.
    Poor fitting bras cause back problems and discomfort to women with out spinal conditions but this woman had deliberatly put me threw hell as I didn’t look well off!

  7. You can’t save all the boobies in the world, but you did save mine.
    I was wearing a 34DD or 36D because that’s was what I “measured” to and after years of following all the normal sales pitch about “sister sizes” I decided to go on the hunt for a better fit. I read the fitting advice on your blog, and although I didn’t need to go down in band size, I knew I couldn’t go higher to get the cup size I needed which was what I was told almost everywhere I shopped. I am now happily in 34G which I didn’t think existed. It never occurred to me that I would need a size outside of “average” so I never bothered looking for one. Never again!
    On the swimsuit note, do you have any recommendations in that department?
    Thank you so much for your insight on this topic, I think I might become a bravangelist too!

  8. First of all: I Love Your Blog!
    ok that had to be said 😛

    Second I don’t hate girls like her but I actually hope fore them that they will think about their boobs and how they will look like in a couple of years.
    I have a friend who loves VC but of course she well… do I really have to spell it out. She was freaked out when I told her she is probably not a 34 B but more like a 30 D/DD or 28DD/E. But quoting her : She doesn’t have that enormous breast ! Well I wear a 28J/JJ and was quite offended. That was 2 years ago and I still try to get her fitted. But luckily I live in Germany and the next VC is in London so I will try again and maybe next time I will get her to admit that a correct size will look better and will have more oomph! ( well at least in her size range 😦 I miss my Deco badly )

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